| |
| |
|
WebsiteAlways |
|
How To Put An End To Rejection
Rejection is one of the most painful experiences in relationships. Not only rejection from our partner, but also rejection from ourselves. As soon as some feel their partner is finding fault with them, they quickly begin to reject themselves. Their sense of self-worth and lovability is directly linked to how their partner feels about them. When an individual is in an abusive relationship, where rejection and fault finding is on-going, it is not unusual for them to completely lose confidence in themselves and their ability to ever love again. But let's look at this more closely. What is really happening when a person is feeling rejected? Is it really due to the behavior of their partner, or is it that they are now down on themselves? When a person feels really secure and good about themselves, it doesn't matter how anyone else treats them or what they do or say. Here is a basic law of love. When you thoroughly absorb this and practice it in your relationships, your sense of self worth and equilibrium automatically grows. How A Person Treats You Says More About Them Then About You Negative behavior from your partner reflects on them, not you. It is their difficulty they are expressing. Never take it personally. When you take it personally, it simply means that now you are agreeing with their negativity and rejecting yourself. The Dynamics Of Rejection If we look more closely we can discover that rejection is a common occurrence. Many of us are involved in it on an on-going basis. From morning to night, we complain, judge, condemn and basically reject most of what life brings to us. We want one thing and get another. We enjoy warm weather and it always rains. We want our partner to behave in one way and they do the opposite. We can even start to feel there's something wrong with everyone we meet, that we have to fix, change or instruct them. This keeps us feeling separate and alone. What we do not see is that we ourselves have set into motion this experience of rejection. Guideline: Stopping Rejection If you are being rejected a lot, take time to notice the ways in which you reject yourself or others. Then stop it. Turn it around. Look for what is good or right about the person or situation in front of you. Look for what is good and right about yourself. Do Not Look For The Faults Of Others Loneliness and upset in our relationships comes from projecting our faults onto others, and then rejecting them. It also comes from others doing the same to us. When we do this, we then spend most of our time trying to change and control others or ourselves. This never, ever makes for happy relationships where both parties can be themselves, feel wanted and naturally grow. When we catch ourselves being rejected or rejecting others, we can stop this process by taking responsibility for what is happening. We can immediately look for our part in how we are perceiving others - and ourselves. Here are 2 more laws of love: 1) The more we value, like and appreciate ourselves, the less we will be affected by rejection. 2) The more we value, like and appreciate others, the less they will reject us. The experience of acceptance and oneness is what everyone desires. Give that to others and give it to yourself. In order to do this we must realize that whoever appears before us, is simply another face of ourselves. Judgment or the desire to change them is not necessary. Curiosity is a better response. As we allow others to be who they are, and view them with understanding the mind that accepts develops in us. This mind is your greatest asset.. The mind that accepts provides a positive outlook that nurtures and upholds all life. This may take a little time and practice, but it is well worth it. As we practice this kind of open-heartedness it will soon become obvious that the way we treat others is also the way we treat ourselves. The more we accept others, the happier, healthier and more fulfilled our lives and relationships will be. Cc/author/2005 Discover the surprising truths about love that will save your relationship. See why it is impossible to fail when you know and practice these laws. Dr. Shoshanna provides all of this and more, including exercises, guidelines and wisdom in her unique new e-book Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships). http://www.truthaboutlove.com Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, relationship expert on i.village.com, speaker, and has run over 500 workshops on all aspects of relationships and fulfilling your potential. She is the author of many books, including Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster), Why Men Leave (Putnam), What He Can't Tell You And Needs To Say, (Putnam) and many others. You can contact her at mailto: mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com. Her personal website is: http://www.brendashoshanna.com/
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
God Doesnt Say No...YOU Do! There are a couple of things you've probably heard said over and over. The first is, "Why doesn't God answer my prayers?". Self-Divine-ation: Defining a Divine Future! In some of my counseling and coaching sessions, my clients ask me to perform a reading to tell them their future. In many cases, my response is, "why don't you tell me your future?" They stop and stare, speechless. So, The Thing Is... We Reap What We Sow So, the thing is? we reap what we sow.A few weeks ago, my daughters and I planted some seeds. Success Is In Your Hands - For Things To Change, I Must Change First! Do you know that many people feel they cannot achieve what they want in life because they are not in control of their circumstances? Is it really so?How many times have you heard this: "If only I had creativity like him, I would be able to develop innovative Internet Marketing products," or "if only I had the money to start the e-commerce business, then I would be able to set up a business"? Do you know that all these things are within our control the moment we change ourselves?It sounds unbelievable but it's true! This requires a shift in your paradigm of thinking and it moves you from a powerless state to a state where you can actually take control. We will now take a look at 3 ordinary people like you and me who are able to achieve what they want in life through this simple principle. Opportunity Knocks 1000 Times You've heard people say that opportunity only knocks once. I say it knocks a thousand times, or at least it can. The Power of Perspective You limit yourself. Yes, it is true. 10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 3 Here we continue to discuss a few commonly held beliefs, or "myths," that hold many of us back from achieving success.. Make Money by Making a Life as Mother Teresa Did Many people forget business is a way of service. When you serve others, you make a life instead of making a living. Courage to Change This is a story about a woman we will call Anne, a thirty-five-year-old woman who concluded that she could never find a man. She determined that loneliness was her fate and thus went as far as accepting it as fact. Become a Practicing Artist At heart, everyone's an artist. In practice, of course, this is not so. What the Samurai Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement A Seventeenth Century Samurai maxim states:"A man who has attained mastery of an art reveals it in his every action"This saying is one of my personal favorites. There is so much depth to its meaning. You Can't Seek for Change and Control at the Same Time I saw a coaching client recently who wanted to get right down to business and plan out her new, bold life. She wasn't sure what that life was, but she wanted to map it out, pin it down, and make it happen. Guiltless Contentment 'Have I stopped dreaming?' 'Why am I not as stressed?' 'Why am I not on the 'move' like most people of my age?' Is something really amiss?'Guilt in Contentment?Is there really such a thing as guilt in feeling contented?"Guilt may come from comparing your living conditions to others and not living up to your own standards. It arises from unreasonable demands on yourself especially when you fashion your life to someone else's," wrote Maxwell Maltz, M. Who is Directing You? Recently I had the opportunity to meet a long term mystic. During a lecture he was presenting on a mystic's role in society, he uttered the words "inner warrior," while looking directly at me. Why and How You are Caught Up? Speed Up the Evolution!1. Check the area where you are making greatest efforts. The Art of Manifestation There are times in life when we wish to create something. Perhaps it is a new relationship, car, house, or a special holiday. Mirror, Mirror The Concept of Beauty"Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who's the most beautiful of them all?"This is a line spoken by the Queen in the children's fairy tale "Snow White"The Queen most likely, was once the most beautiful woman in the kingdom; expected only to hear the Mirror confirm that fact.To the Queen's dismay The Mirror had exchanged her beauty for that of Snow White's He pulled down the Queen's Beauty position replacing it with that of her Snow White's. Better Than a Million Dollar Lottery Win Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were attracted? It makes the heart bump, doesn't it?Have you ever stood on stage in front of a sea of faces that you know well and pulled out your notes to make a speech? Boy does the vibration of shaking liven you up!Have you ever felt the breeze on your face, either during a hot-air balloon ride or by sticking your head through the car sunroof? It wakes your senses up, doesn't it?And on a scale of 1-10 how much does your heart bump, body shake and senses wake when you do your day job? I bet you can practically do the tasks with your eyes shut. In fact I bet there are days when you feel like you did have your eyes shut?Most people don't feel awakened by their day jobs. The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship He's your good friend. She's your best confidant. Right Thinking Nothing ever happens by chance. Everything, good or bad, that comes into our lives is a result of the thoughts we have engaged in, or by what God has ordained to get our attention.
|
| Interesting articles | Home | site map | Link |
| © 2006 |
