| |
| |
|
WebsiteAlways |
|
Do You See Clearly?
"I don't see how I can just make up my mind to be happy and successful; and suddenly, magically, I will be. That seems to me to be a denial of my reality. My life is a mess. I am not happy. My life is not a success." she wrote. She was replying to my email response to her first inquiry. She had written to ask how I could write (in a previous article in this eZine) that if you wanted to be happy, you just had to choose to be happy. I had replied, in my first email, that how we felt about ourselves and our life was entirely within our control; and once we had decided to change how we felt, thought and believed, the circumstances and conditions of our lives would change to meet our new expectations. This conundrum is surely the 'catch-22' of self-improvement. You must both accept the reality of where you are at and, at the same time, deny its ultimate veracity in order to create a new, bigger and better, reality. Now, I am not saying you should go into denial about the facts of your life. That's a huge mistake. Many people attempt to live with their shortcomings, failures and addictions by being in denial and it does not work. Nothing gets any better that way. Often it gets even worse. Many people also attempt to change their life by muttering some affirmation like "I am happy, healthy, wealthy and wise," in a blind attempt to convince themselves that they are not unhappy, unhealthy, impoverished and foolish. This does not work too well either. I am not suggesting that affirmations are not useful. They can be a very powerful tool and, used properly, they can be a big help in changing your predominant thought patterns, your core beliefs and your basic emotional outlook on life. However, it is necessary, if we wish to improve our lot in life, to first face and accept that we have certain core beliefs, predominant thought patterns and basic emotions attitudes. Then, we also must accept that it is these very beliefs, thoughts and emotions that have created the reality that we now have in our lives. Then, we must decide to adopt new, improved, intentional ways of believing, thinking and feeling in order to create the new reality we have idealized and desired for ourselves. This is not denial. It is the acceptance of our co-creative abilities; and, the acceptance our freedom to choose what and how to think, believe and feel. It is the taking on of the responsibility for one's life, as it is, and as it could be. It is the facing and accepting of the truth that we cannot blame the conditions and circumstances of our present life for how we feel, how and what we think, what we believe. It is the facing and accepting of the truth that how we have been feeling, how and what we have been thinking, what we have been believing has actually contributed to the conditions and circumstances of our lives. What we have is a result of what we have done. What we have done is a result of how we have been. How we have been is a result of how we have felt, thought and believed about ourselves and about life as a whole. If you want to change or improve what you have in life (the conditions, circumstances--the effects), you must address the cause. You have the power to consciously and intentionally choose your feelings, your thoughts and your beliefs. These are the cause of your happiness and success because they control how you act or react, what you do or don't do and it is what you enact, moment-by-moment, that produces the results you get to have day-to-day. Yes, it is tough work. However, it is not as tough as living an unhappy and unsuccessful life. Why continue to do so just because you are habituated to doing so? So, it is not about denying the reality of how life has been until now; it is about seeing and accepting that there is a greater reality in how you choose life will be from now on. Focus your vision on the ideal. Affirm its reality. Feel its reality. Believe in its reality. Act accordingly. Don't be surprised when it turns out to be just the way you imagined it to be. © Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide. Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com. Reprinting and republishing of this article is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Leadership Coaching at Gettysburg The battle at Gettysburg is one of the most notable events in U.S. Be Better at Business - And Lose Weight, Too! In business, individuals often secure the services of a success coach like myself to "fix" certain areas of their professional life. The desired fixes typically range from a desire for a promotion and/or a salary increase, to on-the-job performance enhancements, to improving one's personal productivity, to boosting one's level of enthusiasm about their job. Email Etiquette 1 I thought it might be worth visiting some email etiquette for all as the majority of the readers of this newsletter are now on email.It is important to consider that when emailing people you are on show, whether you like it or not, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. How to Adopt a Losing Attitude We have all heard the expression, "Where your heart is?, your treasure will be also." Allow me to modify this tried and true wisdom, to create an equally valid point: "Where your thoughts are, your hips will be also. Success: Cant Achieve It By Yourself? Pay A Professional! So many people go through the motions of trying to achieve success. But just going through the motions doesn't work. Can Versus Cant It is my personal opinion that there are two words that are the driving force behind your personally achieving your ultimate outcome and your WHY in Life. These two words are the most powerful words that you can and will ever speak to yourself about any situation - "CAN" and "CAN'T" As I've said many times, "CAN" is a word of power; whereas, "CAN'T" is a word of retreat. The Value of Career Coaching and Its Effect on Productivity Athletes the world over have coaches. Yet, workers whose very livelihood depends on their ability to perform well on the job are often unaware of the merits of a career coach. Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)? It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel JohnsonI was on a tele-seminar recently with International Health Coach Jeremy Likness and he asked a very interesting question about Trust. The Non-Conscious Mind at Work. Harness it for Your Success Thoughts are real things. As soon as you realize how to control your thoughts you are on your way to making vast changes in your daily success. God, Grant Me Patience.....And, I Want It Now!! Are you facing a difficult time in your life? Do you feel like a fish out of water? If today was a fish, would you want to throw it back in the river? If this is your situation, make no negative destructive decisions. Be Patient. Emotional Dependency or Emotional Responsibility Emotional dependency means getting one's good feelings from outside oneself. It means needing to get filled from outside rather than from within. Building a Strong Coaching Practice As a person who has been around the coaching profession for a number of years, I wish I could say that my practice is full right now. But the fact is that I've been pursuing TV gigs in the last few years and haven't put much emphasis on building my individual coaching practice. Its Only Adult ADD-What A Relief! For most of her fifty years, Barbara was at war with herself. Keeping organized, being on time, and finishing what she started were always a struggle. 10 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before I Went Into the Real World I must confess, I laughed when I saw that Maria Shriver has come out with a book called, "Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before Going Into The Real World." The real world? Come on, she grew up a Kennedy and married the biggest action movie star of all time! That aside, it got me to thinking: What are ten things I wish I would have known before going out into the real world? So, here they are. Is Your Life Coach Manipulating You? Five Signs to Watch For Did you hire a "life coach" to help you sort out your complicated existence? The coach is a growing occupational choice for folks who feel the call to lead others who may feel overwhelmed or wish for personal fulfillment but don't know where to begin.As someone who belongs to entrepreneur networks, I've come across quite a few life coaches. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: How Do You Change the World? Recently, I saw an exhibition of paintings by a very talented artist. He clearly has a social conscience and his depictions of the pain and misery of disenfranchised and minority people are so vivid and real you can't help but feel the pain in viewing the paintings. Is The Apprentice Bad For Your Health? If you know who I mean when I say Kwame, Bill and Troy, you're probably a fan of The Apprentice. I admit I'm not a fan myself; I don't watch much television and that particular show didn't grab my interest enough to be "appointment" watching. How to Get More Business Without Even Trying Why are you in business? Hopefully you enjoy what you do, however is it because you want to make money so that you can have, be and do more in your life?Who pays you? Your clients do and never forget that. Unfortunately many people do. How To Gain Control Of Your Life "The latter part of a wise man's life," said Jonathan Swift, "is taken up in curing the follies, prejudices, and false opinions he had contracted in the former."The awareness to see one's own follies, prejudices, and false opinions is in fact essential to overcome one's psychocultural programming. The Biggest Loser I am a "Loser". You're gonna learn from this writing today the reason why you too must be a "Loser".
|
| Interesting articles | Home | site map | Link |
| © 2006 |
